There's No Rules Against It…
by HoldTightAndPretendItIsAPlan
Summary: The Marauders may have been the biggest pranksters of their time, but they actually didn't cause the most trouble during their seven years at Hogwarts.
1. Preface

"You know Misters Padfoot, Moony and Prongs, I have to ask, how did the two of you manage to create so many new rules during your time at Hogwarts? Even if George and myself had stayed for all seven years we never would have reached your record!"

"What? What new rules are you talking about?"

"In our last year, after the toad started creating so many rules, George and I got curious about when certain rules were added to the rule books. Over 1,000 new rules were added to the Hogwarts Charter during your time as students!"

The Marauders all grinned. "Much as we would like to take the credit, and as great as we are at pranking, we aren't actually the ones responsible for all those new rules. That was our fellow year-mate Mary."

"She wanted to be a lawyer and thought the best way to practice her skills was to see how far she could bend the rules without breaking them."

AN: I picture the Twins in the world of the dead chatting with the Marauders about all the rules made during their time at Hogwarts and the Marauders then launching into reminiscing about their favorite rules that got added during their time at Hogwarts


	2. Rule 431

_**Rule 431: Students will not use brooms to transport themselves to and from class.**_

"Woohoo! This is the BEST!" Crash!

"MISS MAGDALEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Ah, s'rry Professor. Din' mean to run into ya like that. Ya a'ight?"

"Yes I'm alright but what in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?"

"I was running a bit late for Herbology and I thought to meself 'Self, we can' run and get to class on time' and then I 'membered that me roommate Lisa got a broom and she said I could use it anytime s'long as she not using it. And, well, riding a broom 's a lot faster than walking."

 _ **Edit Rule 431: Students will not use magical means to transport themselves to and from class**_

"Woohoo! Forget brooms, this is the BEST!" Crash!

"MISS MAGDALEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?!"

"Ah, s'rry Professor. Din' mean to run into ya like that… again. Ya alright?"

"Yes I'm alright but what- is that a flying carpet?"

"No itsa rug."

"Miss Magdalen."

"Ya Professor?"

"You are not a fool, you know the rules state no flying in the halls."

"No they don'"

"Yes, they do. I specifically remember adding that rule two days ago because of your shenanigans."

*giggle*

*glare*

"S'rry Professor, but chu said 'shenanigans' in the same way me mum says 'laundry'"

*stares*

"S' funny s' all."

" I'm going to have to give you a detention for breaking the rules."

"But I din' -!"

"You were flying in the halls when the rules explicitly state that is not allowed!"

"No, they say I aint ta use a broom. Aint no rule 'ginst flying rugs... or carpets for tha' ma'er."


	3. Rule 493

**_Rule 493: Students will not use muggle 'bicycles' to move to and from class_**

"What on Earth is that?!"

"S' a bike."

"A what?"

"A bike. Ya know, the muggle invention. Gandalf says I can' use no more magic stuffs ta get from place ta place so I tho' I ough' ta start using muggle stuffs."

"First of all, I don't understand a word of what you just said. You're being over dramatic about your accent again. Second, I don't think the teachers are going to like that Marry."

"You do not think we are going to like what Ms. Turrner?"

Edit Rule 493: Students will not use ANY muggle modes of transportation to get to and from class.

"Miss. Magdelin, what is that?"

"I's a skateboard!"

"I have no idea what that is but I'm going to preemptively confiscate it."

 _ **Edit Rule 493: Students will not use muggle modes of transport excluding walking to get to and from class.**_

"Miss. Magdelin don't you have class?"

"Ya, but I can' ge' there see? Rules say no muggle transport to class but walkin' is some'tin Muggles can do so in' it a Muggle transport? I don' wanna break a rule like tha! I could ge' a detention!"


	4. Rule 502

_**Rule 502: Students are not to give Peeves tools that assist him in being a poltergeist.**_

"Miss. Magdelin, I do not know how you were able to bring a muggle toy-"

"There is literally no security on the train. None. At all. Not 'gainst toys and none 'gainst muggle weapons now tha' I think 'bout it. I could bring a bomb and it wouldn' set off any alarms and _that_ is rather alarming..."

*Sigh* "We will look into that. Now, about your actions? Giving that... thing to Peeves was incredibly irresponsible of you."

"Why? I was just bribin' him with it so as ta' not prank me this year. In fact, this was incredibly responsible o' me 'cause it was a way ta help me be less distracted an' allow me ta perform betta in school!"

AN: I picture the 'muggle toy' to be a water gun. Peeves would probably like that.


	5. Rule 437

_**Rule 437: Students beds are to remain in their dormitories.**_

"Student out of bed! Wandering the halls!"

"Yes, yes, I can see that Filch, calm down please. I will take care of this."

*sigh*

"Miss. Magdelin, do I even want to know what you are doing?"

"Well, I'm taken a tour 'round da castle see? I never 'ave any time outside o' class an' homework to really explore an' I realized tha' after hours is a great time ta do tha'! But then there's da rule 'bout not being out o' bed after 10 (which is silly cuz' all da' older students are always up and about in da' common rooms) so I was thinkin' tha I just needs ta take me bed with me!"

"What."

"Well, I'm not out o' bed now am I?"


	6. All the Rest

AN: Okay, so I started this story a LONG time ago (over 5 years!) and never posted it because I got tired of the concept and didn't finish it. So when I finally decided to post it I decided that instead of finishing it up I would edit the completed bits a little and then post all the REALLY incomplete bits into one big chapter. Guess what chapter this is? Yep, the monster chapter of incomplete concepts for this story! Enjoy.

 _ **Rule 794: Residents are to refer to magical creatures by their proper names. No designating new titles or 'nicknames' is permitted.**_

Calls Fawkes a "Flaming Chicken" or "Roast Turkey" (for some reason this seems to amuses the bird instead of insult it)

Refers to Dementors as "Nazgul" (which only amuses a few fellow muggle-born students)

 _ **Rule 1063: Residents are not to take or kidnap magical companions from other residents.**_

Kidnaps Fawks (although they do it with Fawks' permission) and carries him around on her shoulder. She tries to train him to say "Polly want a cracker" during breakfast one day until Dumbledore reminds her that Phoenix's lack vocal cords capable of making human sounds (He then asks for his bird back).

 _ **Rule 620: Students are not to alter the Great Hall ceiling in any way**_

Spells the Great Hall to play Muggle music for a week (teachers break spell eventually). Admittedly this was done on accident while attempting to make a muggle radio work at Hogwarts but the teachers (nor the students) fail to believe that she didn't orchestrate everything to happen the way it did.

 _ **Rule 666: Residents are not to change the passwords or entry ways to dormitories without prior consent from a faculty member.**_

She charms the Ravenclaw door to speak backwards... with a Texas accent... in Spanish. Not even she is sure how she screwed up the spell to allow her in without answering the riddle that badly

 _ **Rule 985: Students are to wear the proper tie associated with the house they were sorted into.**_

Changes her tie for every class, and then causes as much trouble as she can to deduct points from other houses. This is done in her first year for her first few classes when the teachers don't know the students very well.

EX: In Charms she changes her tie to Hufflepuff, in Transfiguration to Gryffindor, in Potions to Slytherin, and so on and so forth. Several students are too amused to care and/or just don't realize that she actually isn't part of their house.

 _ **Rule 1225: Students are not to invite muggles without prior consent of faculty members.**_

Brings a muggle onto the property (just to see if getting past the wards allows them to suddenly see the school- it does)

 _ **Edit Rule 1225: Students are not to invite guests without prior consent of faculty members.**_

Invites a goblin to Hogwarts and has them attend all her classes with her (they are banned in Great Britain from studying 'Wizard Magic' but there are no laws against a witch or wizard inviting them to follow them while the witch or wizard attend any classes).

 _ **Edit Rule 38: Students are not to bring magical or non-magical creatures into the premises without consent of the Headmaster/Headmistress or the Deputy Headmaster/Headmistress. Nor may they donate magical or non-magical creatures to Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry then bring the animal to the school without the consent and prior knowledge of the Headmaster/Headmistress or the Deputy Headmaster/Headmistress.**_

Brings a baby Giant Squid to the school and releases it into the lake as a 'donation' (students are not allowed to bring dangerous animals to school, but are allowed to donate anything they want to the school- even dangerous animals. Prior to this there was no rule about donating without informing anyone).

 _ **Rule 1407: Students may not alter or wear altered uniforms without approval of a staff member.**_

Uses the fabric of her school outfit to make a bikini

No rules against students altering their uniform.

No rules against students wearing said altered uniforms.

 _ **Rule 1070: Students may not attend classes they have not been assigned.**_

Shows up to random other classes during free time.

 _ **Rule 402: Students must attend assigned detentions.**_

Never shows up to detention (no rules on having to actually attend detention)

 _ **Rule 658: Students are not to alter the bodies of other students without said students consent.**_

Doodles 'Dark Marks' on sleeping students (when she is yelled at for making students look like followers of Voldemort she points out that her art skills suck and if people really thought that the mark looked like a squiggly line coming out of a smiley face there was something wrong with them)

 _ **Rule 777: Students are not to use muggle devices to find answers to class questions**_

Walks into a Divination class with a Magic Eight Ball and uses it to answer all questions. Surprisingly, the teacher is okay with this but when the other teachers find out they get worried about what she might bring into their class.

 _ **Edited Rule 777: Students are not to use muggle devices to find answers to class questions excluding Divination.**_

The Divination teacher petitions to have their class excluded because the Magic Eight Ball was surprisingly accurate and they believe it to be a legitimate method of Divination even if it is made by muggles.

 _ **Edited Rule 777: Students are not to use muggle devices or foods to find answers to class questions excluding Divination.**_

Walks into a Divination class with a bag of fortune cookies and uses them to answer all questions.

 _ **Rule 1002: Students are not to create a new house or join said house. To clarify, there are only four houses; Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin.**_

Tells first years that there was also a fifth founder and that you can only become a member of their house if you can find the common room.

Changed her school uniform colors and declares the colors she wears are said secret house's colors and she is allowed wear those colors because she is a member.

Will tell no one this house's name (teachers can't take points)

Placed a points hourglass near the other house hourglasses (added authenticity)

Declares that she will continue sleeping in her old dormitory because her new house dormitory is boring without other people in it.

Was never actually proven wrong over existence of other house (how can you disprove what there is no proof of?)

 _ **Rule 559: Residents are not to send each other Howlers.**_

Used howlers to send people messages

"YOU HAVE A NICE BUT"

"I LIKE YOUR HAIR"

"YOU SMELL NICE"

 _ **Rule 800: Students are not to bet on the survival rate of Professors or other residents of the school**_

Started a betting pool on the fate of that years' DADA teacher.

 _ **Edit Rule 9: Students may bring a house cat, toad or owl.**_

Brings in a leopard as a "pet cat" one year because the rules never said what types of cats were not permitted.

 _ **Edit Rule 658: Students are not to alter the bodies or appearance of other students without said students consent.**_

Transfigured James' uniform into a gold thong when he bullied Severus in front of her without reason once (to clarify, she doesn't like Snape and usually enjoys the Marauders picking on him but this time James went too far for her tastes).

James said "Is there a new uniform rules I didn't know about? Because what you're wearing simply can't be what they meant when they said 'new style.'"

She declared that it wasn't wrong because James was teasing Severus about his cloths and she 'misunderstood' and thought James was saying he wanted to know what the new school uniform rules were. But she performed the spell 'wrong' and 'accidentally' gave James something that wasn't the uniform. And, woops, seems to have added a sticking charm to the thong and a repelling charm against all other articles of clothing simultaneously! Odd that.

 _ **Rule 1200: Residents are not to use school supplies outside of their designated purpose.**_

Took a school broom and used it to sweep the entry. (Rules against flying on brooms without permission but not against using them for other purposes).

 _ **Rule 1388: Students may not use spells to prevent Professors or other authority figures from handing out punishment.**_

Used silencing spells on Professors and on Prefect "Can' get detention if I don' hear ya give me one!"

 _ **Rule 999: The Sorting Hat is not to be worn by students outside of the Sorting Ceremony**_

Takes the Sorting Hat from the Headmaster's office and wears it to all her classes.

Teachers point out she's using a magical object to do her work as the hat provides her answers. She counters with the fact that the hat wasn't made for sorting, but for helping solve problems within the school. She is having problems answering homework questions, the hat is only doing its' job.


End file.
